[ft. Andy Samberg]

Hey, girl
I got something real important to give you
So just sit down
And listen

Girl, you know we been together
Such a long, long time
(Such a long time)
And now I'm ready
To lay it on the line

Wow, you know it's Christmas
And my heart is open wide
(Open wide)
Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind
(What's on my mind)

A gift real special
So take off the top
Take a look inside
It's my di*k in a box
(It's in a box)

Not gonna get you a diamond ring
That sort of gift don't mean anything
Not gonna get you a fancy car
Girl, you gotta know you're my shining star
Not gonna get you a house in the hills
A girl like you needs something real
I wanna get you something from the heart
(Something special, girl)

It's my di*k in a box!
My di*k in a box, babe
It's my di*k in a box!
(Ooh)
My di*k in a box, girl

See, I'm wise enough to know when a gift needs giving, girl
And I got just the one
Something to show you that you are second to none

To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress
It's easy to do
Just follow these steps:

One:
Cut a hole in a box
Two:
Put your junk in that box
Three:
Make her open the box
And that's the way you do it

It's my di*k in a box!
My di*k in a box, babe
It's my di*k in a box!
(Ooh)
My di*k in a box, girl

Christmas
Dick in a box
Hanukkah
Dick in a box!
Kwanzaa
A di*k in a box
Every single holiday, a di*k in a box
Over at your parents' house, a di*k in a box
Meat Day at the grocery store, a di*k in a box
Backstage at the CMAs, a di*k in a box
Yeah
A di*k in a box
Dick in a box
Dick in a box...